Imperfect Devotion

Like Peter, I have "painfully inconsistent devotion."  I love the Lord, truly I do, but I don't always do the things I want to do for Him (or I do other things I shouldn't).  My ragged participation in this blog is one example, but I've got a boatload of other peccadilloes that can make the same point.

However, since I was behind in my reading, I had the distinct advantage of seeing Thomas and Peter together.  They both loved Jesus; they both were overjoyed when they realized He was resurrected; yet they both failed the Lord in major, visible ways.  And in both cases, Jesus reached out to each one personally, in front of witnesses, as he lovingly, gently and with great compassion restored them.  He reoriented their vision so they could see Him clearly.

We hear Thomas's believing heart revealed in John 11:16 where he says, "Let us also go, that we may die with him [Jesus]."  But even so, when Christ really did die, Thomas's expectations were trampled.  He couldn't believe that God would choose a cross to accomplish His purpose.  Peter also gave a remarkable testimony in Matt 16:16 when he said to Jesus, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."  And yet he showed his confusion and unbelief when he denied his Lord.

As for me, yes, I believe Jesus.  I trust him.  But I often can't believe the methods He uses to accomplish His purposes in my life and in the world.  It's way too messy.  Disorienting.  Uncomfortable.  Certainly not what I expected.  I fail Jesus daily.

But it's at that point of failure, when I feel hopeless and insecure, that Jesus meets me on the beach of my heart with His compassion and agape love.  He asks me gentle questions and listens for the answers He knows I will give.  For resonating deep in my soul is the truth that "despite [my] best efforts or deepest wounds, despite [my] grand plans or most painful decisions, Christ alone fulfills the longings of [my] heart."  He truly restores my soul.  (Psalm 23:3)

Happy Easter, my friends.  Happy, glorious, amazing day of resurrection.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through...The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."  I Thess 5:23-24