Wondering if I love Him (Chapter 7)

I have fallen way behind on my reading and devoting, as I feared I would. I skipped ahead to catch up, so I guess I'm like Peter just plunging in! :)
When Tevye asks Golda, "Do you love me?" in Fiddler on the Roof, she doesn't want to be bothered with such a dumb question. "Why talk about love right now?" she asks. But Tevye insists, so she has to stop and think about it.  Now, Golda isn't exactly portrayed as a loving, patient wife. She's more like the "continual dripping" kind of wife. Her behavior makes us wonder if she does love her husband. But she looks back over their twenty-five years together and thinks about the hard times she has shared with Tevye. She considers the things she's done with and for him, and ends up surprising herself by realizing, "I suppose I do!"
I feel a little like Golda when I imagine myself in Peter's shoes.  I know I'd wish He wouldn't ask me hard questions. But when pressed, l'd have to search myself and come up with an answer. And then, like both Peter and Golda, when I looked back over my behavior and attitudes toward the One asking the question, I'd have to admit to myself that there's much that doesn't look like true love.  Many denials, many failures to put Him first, long periods of little to no emotional connection, reluctance to "get together," etc.
But I'd also look at what He has done for me: the hard times He brought me through, the provision, the self-sacrifice, the comfort, the peace.  When I consider those things, I'm like Golda: surprised and relieved to find that, "I suppose I do!" I deeply love Jesus for all those things!
I wish there were not this wide disparity between His love in action and mine. I wish I had more proofs of love to offer up.  I'm so small in so many ways, and He's so all-encompassing and mighty. I can only praise Him for being so, and ask Him to enlarge my love for Him and others.